Fever Gauge

"Oh-ow! That fuckin bitch! She didn't have to hit me so hard"

Touching her welts, standing at the screen door with it's melted patterns of sun dance, her face slightly bruised, she looked out on what's s'posed to be a front yard. Front yard, my ass, a few dog eared weeds. Her dress slacks, grimy, with lipstick traces, curtain cover her scrawny legs. She scratches her welts.

"I remember it being different. She used to be sweet to me. Now look at her! She's fat and ugly and mean! But when I was little she was more sweet to me, always bringin home gifts. Y'know she used to work....I can't help it if I like boys. Maybe I like 'em too much...she said I was filth...lickin on the devil's tongue....but look at her...she's a sex fiend..coke whore bitch!"

"That fat bitch waddles through the kitchen. Her boobs hang, sag and bobble on her thighs. The misery shows through her asthma...weezin trumpet of a mouth. She used to be pretty..always chunky...but pretty, still...since she got laid off from the Safeway and now not being able to work, she grew big and mean lookin.....'

"There was another time when she had boyfriends who didn't trash on her. Sometimes they'd help pay our rent and bring us gifts. Now she'll chug the Popov and give her fat pussy to any truck driver from the South, religious or not...stop in at the fuckin World's Largest Truck Stop where she carries on her pussy charades. She takes me there. I play video games on monster machines and make believe drag race cars while my mom makes the bucks... fattest whore at the truck stop. She'll go off with some mulleted hick, leavin me in pervsville. I'll watch her climb up in the cab of some truck with some piece of truck trash. Half the time he has to pull her in. I watch her through the neon windows, fat with her cigarette danglin. She'll come out of there all undone, squashed like a snotted hanky. Men come to her but I got to leave the boys alone..I can't have no boys."

"Lionel is out there on his huffy, now. He's taunting me to come out. I can't though. She's in there somewhere, hackin away. I won't...I don't wanna, but i do. I don't care if she hits me...I'm gonna cut that flabby whore with my knife. His eyes are so big. What-a beautiful kid. I know he wants to have me somewhere beyond the garage. He once stuck his hand up my shirt. My boobs are small, but he seemed to like 'em ok. I took a beating for it..well not for it...but for kissing and having the smell on me...on my shirt. I held it in front of me and closed my eyes, then I felt a jerk on my trainer. She knew it then and she knows it now. He keeps grinnin... bastard..I'll get him. She'll give me a beating, hypocrite, she probably wants him too. I dream of him taking me somewhere, away. Maybe he'd murder me in that shed out in the woods."